Posts

may love be with you

I guess it’s mixed feelings now
Knowing someone i choose to leave got someone to love with
Make me jealous but happy too
I will tear if i think of past but more like feel sad for the past
Rather than sad for the present
Bless you puppy aka rahim

Damn jonathan, text me and meet me la
Damn workaholic but denied it

dying hatredness whatever

feel like dying... feel so vulnerable when things are out of control i can't make any decision or i dont wish to make it i want ... i need... i prefer... but i got no answer from you not even a news
i hate myself for letting you control me i hate myself for not strong i hate myself for so weak i hate myself for depends someone in love i hate myself for being materialistic  i hate myself for letting him go i hate myself for being stupid
feel so weak after typing those words hardly to breathe hardly to think i guess hardly to dream or love too

puppy has good news

Hi puppy, it’s good to know that you are seeing someone, one that can make you feel happy
One that you can treat her nicely like how you did to me
Im happy to know it and wish that you can stay in happiness forever.
I can never be the one for you. We both are meant to bring out the best of us and continue the journey without bring us.
Im not as good as what you think, i always think of myself before you.
I can be selfish and ugly.
I was happy when you told me you are seeing someone
But i cried when you said you will treat her like how you treated me.
I was sad but it’s good to know that I’d loved you.
I want you to be a better man.
Puppy, eat your words when you meet your ms right.
Forget about your promise.
Im seeing a guy but i think i will end it soon.
Like what you say i deserve someone better.

峰回路转

星期二和Rahim分手,今天和Jonathan在一起
我的人生可以再戏剧一点 🤦🏻‍♀️

今天想和他见面所以直接约了出来
或换成另一个说法
他约了我好几次,但都不成功。而今天我们俩终于见面了人,也因为他的一句话我们就在一起了。
他说: do you want to reconsider us?
一开始我的脑袋其实还蛮空白的,不知道怎么回事……
而他又重复了那个问题并解释我们在一起了又分开,而我告诉他之前是你不要我了啊
而且常常不见。他说他是不得已的,我说我不要。最后我赢了。🤣
其实今天和他相处下来发现他其实很温柔很贴心
小小的动作都是要确保我的安全和舒适度,也许遇到对的人吧
不过他的大男人主义还是有的,父亲的控制欲还是有的,害怕他父亲的还是有的
感觉还是有难度的

sometimes i just wish i'm alone.

sometimes i just wish i'm alone.
away from the city, away from the crowd
and away from those who make me suffocate from time to time.

Rahim, he loves me a lot but gave me negative energies a lot too.
from time to time, i will need to escape from him in order to feel good.

Jonathan, a person doesn't really exist in my life.
from time to time, he will give me heart attack.

Perhaps i should away from this 2 persons.

了了 哈哈

你扼杀了我给你最后的机会了
没了也不会有了
你说你只是玩玩而已
有你这句话 足够了
老娘不会再和你联络了
不过我也不会玩弄你的感情
冤冤相报何时了
反正我也不想和你见面了
冤孽就了了吧
拜拜

凡人皆烦人

心情低落中
也许只是想要恢复到平衡点,让自己可以衡量或控制一切
但似乎没有一样事情是我能控制的,超乎我的控制范围
现在的我还是觉得自己很烂,周旋于两个男人之间
一个爱我之入骨
一个捉摸不定
第一次让我无从下手,让我头疼不已
生活中对生活中的不满也一并加剧
人生干嘛要那么的烦啊
果然凡人皆是烦人
也许短时间内,我会消失一会儿
让自己沉淀一下下吧……