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age or reality?

Okay, still recording my 20 years old boyfriend.
We've been together since 27th of June, second day of raya. I can feel that his love towards are limitless! But i started to feel my passion is getting lesser and focus back to myself.
I still love him. Just i need to focus on my own, my career and future.
I need money for my future, my first house and my dream.
Im thinking what should i do to achieve them.
My baby boy is young. He has plenty of time and ideas.
Yet his baby is getting older and has a pushy family.
I know everyone will have their own timeline, why should we follow or copy the rest.
I know a lot of examples like Colonel Kentucky, Jack Ma and etc
But I couldn't do so? Or I refuse to admit how weak I am and how stupid i am?
Anyway, i still have a lot to do and learn
I must focus on myself, forget my age and strive for the best!
Though no one know my real age from my face and body! Lol

my 20 years old boyfriend?

OH MY GOD WE KISSED TWICE, ON THE LIPS
yes, tonight we kissed on each other's lips
He challenged me to kiss his lips and i did that 🙈
And before he left my car, he kissed my lips 😳

He tried to ask me the feeling, end up we are kinda confessing?
Well, i like him, a lot
After he left me yesterday, I couldn't resist to smell his perfume which leaves on the bolster
I think i was wet too 🙈

Oh dear, are we now become the couple or i will meet another guy?!
Maybe i should follow the flow instead of guessing or worrying!

Puppy i love you!

Oh dear oh dear! I think i might fall in love with my puppy!  Ok, the puppy is a human, my young friend whose 20 years old, met via Tinder Anyway, we hug , we kiss on cheek and today WE CURDLE  oh dear, he just left my house, yes nobody at home and im hugging the pillow that he was hugging! Im missing him I cooked the lunch, he came over for the food and curdle  And i was so happy before his arrival  He like my food so much, so happy to look at him when he was so enjoying them. We spent like 4 hours together, last 3 hours we were hugging and curdling  Both of us like the last hug that we had for today It was so long and satisfying He told me that he like the hug too as he can smell every inch of me I was so shy when reading it!  Oh ya, we kiss on cheek this Monday, met on Wednesday and Thursday  That was so insane yet satisfying! Alright, we both might fall in love with each other But let's follow the flow Who cares? 
Ps he bought 2 seaweed sticks for me, he is so cute!

4 males

前天自以为,我现阶段遇到了四个新朋友
1. 我的宠物
2. 我的知己
3. 我的酒肉朋友
4. 我的追求者

我觉得我很犯贱,我对我的知己发了好人卡。原因是造成了亲朋好友的误会了,但也同时伤害了他。虽说他还是和我照样的哈拉,但好像有点隔膜了。小狗狗说我想太多了,人家对你没兴趣啦。好吧~

我的宠物,小狗狗。华巫混血儿,可爱帅帅的小男生;让我情不自禁的喜欢上他。不过小狗狗只有20岁!算了,就单纯的享受和小狗狗哈拉的时光。因为不晓得哪天,小狗狗会有新的目标呢?不过小狗狗好像也蛮喜欢我的也😌

我觉得我的酒肉朋友应该和我划清界限了。因为隐私,因为一句“这样我才会了解你啊”好像让他误会了。算了,我真的当你是朋友并不是喜欢的对象。以后没有免费的就喝了 😭
小狗狗和朋友们我对不起你们!

追求者。一个让我身边的朋友都感觉到危险的人。觉得他会欺骗我,想要玩玩而已。他们说他看起来坏坏的,如果说是有成就的人,也不会喜欢那么平凡的我。而傻傻的我还是觉得先观察好了,没有所谓的好人坏人,只有真诚的心。我好像还蛮笨的🤣

好啦,这就是我最近的故事
拜~

有人追求 烦 没人追求 烦

今天的心情灰灰的
突然不想要爱情了
爱情啊 好难懂哦
或者说
我什么都要 但身旁的人选 都不是我要的

班班 有着爱逗我的个性
和他相处的时候 很开心 时间很快就过了
但他的防卫系统也蛮强大的
也许 就像他所说的
“你有没问我啊”
他 会带我进入他的世界
很表面的世界 但不深入
他 总会说着要笑哦
我的微笑不是笑
他喜欢我大笑 或者咧着牙 呵呵大笑

他很好 好到我不知道要怎么对待他

期待我的厨艺
关心我的健康
爸爸办的唠叨

但 内心的我
拿他和其他人比较

不高
品味有待加强
肤浅的我还觉得我们并不是同一个level

也许我太现实了
看着金钱的对比 不正比
看着生活的对比 不正比

我 到底想要什么啊
有钱,会享受生活,爱我,逗我和让我开心的老公?

天啊,有钱尽然摆在第一
我是拜金女吧

写一写,心情也好了
就当是抒发情感
理一理自己的思绪
继续往前走

撞墙中

天啊,这两天内有三个人和我告白耶!
koh, benjamin & johnny
我的天啊。。。要嘛没人爱,要嘛不是最爱

Koh,我们俩是有缘无分型
他刚分手而且正面临事业危机
超级好色 处于忧郁中
我们俩都不想要远距离
外加他给自己3年的时间来疗请伤
但是三个里面我最喜欢的

Benjamin,好朋友+灵魂伴侣型
他爱逗我笑,会带我去找食物吃
可以聊到很深入和灵性的话题
虽然常常说烂笑话逗我
出去后会po脸书和世界通报
但我感觉不到激情+ 比我高那么一点

Johnny, 健身教练
比我小一岁,身材超棒
外加爱逗我笑,也是超色一族
拥有能让我疯狂的荷尔蒙

怎样啦,我不知道要如何应付了

shit, i ruined the first date

aih... feel like i ruined the date! Gosh, Jon is not responding my message nor have a long chat just as our first conversation. Shitty feel.................

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

aih.... The night was great, he is a gentleman and shared a lot of himself. But I DID IT BADLY!!!!!!

i dint talk much about myself, even he tried to ask me the questions, i can't even talk in good way or my mind was blank!!! How bad i can be, where is the fun me?

ahhhhhhhh........................................

Pls, respond to my text.

Ok, another me is trying to make sure i'm cool and alright. Things will get smooth, stay calm babe.
I bet the less confidence me and optimistic me are trying to fight with each other.

Well, still relying on him, whether we will have the next date or meeting afterwards. Perhaps we should start as friend then only look for the next stage. Oh! We are just friend, isn't it? lol

I like him though he is short, study MBA & a canadian…